EXCERPT
What Men Want: Three Professional Single Men Reveal to Women What it Takes To Make an Man Yours; Gerstman ESQ, Pizzo CPA, Seldes M.D
UGLY TRUTH NUMBER 5
If Men Didn't Have to Marry, We Wouldn't
A man feels very nervous about committing to any woman. He may love you, he may even think he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, but he really hates to sign on the dotted line. If society didn't mandate that a man must marry, he wouldn't. When a man considers marriage, the first thing he thinks about is not being able to have sex with other women. Every other adjustment is tiddledywinks compared to that restriction. His whole body, his whole mind, his whole self recoils from this idea. He may not have made love to another woman aside from you in years, he may be wildly in love with you, but it doesn' matter. The thought of making that vow of fidelity fills him with fear and trembling.
A man considers marriage only because he knows the woman he loves is considering it, not because he wants to. He knows she expects it; he know it's the "right" thing to do; he knows if he doesn't propose, he may lose her. As he considers whether or not to pop the question, he does not think of all the gains marrying the woman he loves will bring him. No. He thinks of all the negatives. Men hate to have their freedom restricted. We think to ourselves that a prudent businessman would never into inot such a long-term contract with so many restrictions. We think, every day of our adult lives, that we have been geared toward chasing, touching, and loving many women. How will we be able to stifle that urge? It is as if someone had told us, "starting tomorrow, for the rest of your life."
Committing to marriage goes against men's natural instincts. Men have to force themselves to marry.
These truths about men are ugly, but they are important for every woman to know. The reality is that a man's sex urge drives him. It is what drives him toward all women he desires. It is what drives him toward you. Men's sexual instinct is an underlying aspect of "guyness" women know about but tend to forget, gloss over, or deny. Women would do better to keep this ugly truth in their line of vision.
Women would do best knowing the reality of men's desires and fears, because once you know what a man wants, he's yours.
WHAT MEN WISHED WOMEN KNEW...
The Heroes Inside Us
by Walter Kern
This is the secret. This is the great truth. We don’t particularly value our own existences. It starts around age 3 and never stops: the process of rehearsing all the ways in which we might gloriously die. We’ve barely been born when we start mock-perishing. The first time I bit the dust was in an ambush by three or four boys who’d armed themselves with sticks that were either machine guns or swords, I don’t remember. Nor do I remember which for of evil I alone was resisting that fateful day when I first fell backward on the grass, clutched my heart, and let out the sigh that tells a man’s foes that they may have killed his body but they’ll never vanquish his spirit. I was only 5 years old, but the whole performance felt instinctive.
Women are encouraged to give life. Men are encouraged to give it up. The basic scenario, of course, involves standing up to the bad guys on behalf of some innocent person or high ideal. The other basic scenario involves being one of the bad guys, the baddest of all. Either way the ending is the same. We fall, we sigh, there’s a pause, we get back up, and then the next day we pretend to die again.
We don’t always die in combat. That’s just one way. Sometimes we die from exposure or starvation while exploring the arctic or trekking through the jungle. Sometimes our rocket ship crashes en route to Mars or our race car hits a wall during the last lap of the Daytona 500. Sometimes the smoke inside the burning house that we’ve rushed into to rescue the little girl’s kitten is just too thick and toxic to withstand. And sometimes we die from simple overwork while laboring selflessly to support our loved ones or save the ranch from bankruptcy.
What doesn’t change is the satisfaction we take- in our fantasies, that is- at going down fighting, with our boots on. What also doesn’t change is our suspicion that we might not be mourned as deeply as we imagine of honored for as long as we might hope. That stirs a certain resentment in some men.
Since kindergarten we’ve been demonstrating our willingness to die at practically any moment for virtually any cause, and the women who will outlive us don’t appreciate it. Yes, today we’re grouching about the phone bill or failing once again to mow the lawn, but tomorrow we may be out defending the homeland or pursuing an armed robber down a dark alley.
Women shouldn’t forget this. What looks like a husband napping on a sofa is really a hero of tomorrow dreaming of his own selfless demise. The least a woman can do is let him sleep.
QUOTES from famous men
"Hockey is a sport for white men, Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgemental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?"
Hugh Grant
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfield
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart
"See the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
The Guy’s Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear "THE RULES" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complain about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints to not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago in inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are laying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun information or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping
